Train Up A Child

2/23/2022

Written By: Margie Davis

When I was a little girl, my siblings and I called my Mom “Momma.” With 5 children born in the span of 6 years, my mom had her hands full, and one thing she didn’t tolerate was whining. And she thought the title “Mommy” had a whiny twang to it.

So “Momma” it was. For years and years! Until my oldest brother got too cool for that and changed the title to “Mother.” And it trickled down to the rest of us. And “Mother” seemed fitting for the angst we felt toward her due to the necessary teenage discipline that she doled out. Calling her “Mother” freed us of the childhood tenderness and neediness that had once eased the “Momma” title out of our little mouths.

I called my mom “Mother” for so many years. And then somewhere there was a shift when I became a mother and grandmother myself. She became more of a friend and mentor to me, and her title changed to “Mom.” All of these titles seemed to fit the role she was playing in MY life at the time. “Momma” was the nurturer/caregiver. “Mother” was the authoritarian. “Mom” was the friend. And now we’ve come full circle.

My siblings and I have spent the past week or so sitting by my mom’s bed as she slips from this life into heaven. And we have somehow reverted back to “Momma.” We rub her head like she did ours when we were sick, and we say “It’s ok, Momma, I’m here.” She was our “trainer” in the area of compassion and tenderness. And now we can give it back to her and prove that she trained us well. She used to tell me what a good girl I was. I now tell her that she is not only good, but she was the best Momma ever.

She will leave our lives with the same title she chose when we entered HERS.

Parenting is hard. And parenting has these phases that sometimes seem like a roller coaster. Just about the time we are at a peak, the bottom drops out, and we are plummeting downward with our hearts in our throats wondering if we’ll survive. BUT GOD has given us the ability and authority to hang on during everything from the terrible 2’s to the terrifying 30’s!

Proverbs 22:6 says “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

Training/discipline is the most difficult part of parenting. It’s so much easier to compromise and give in just so there will be some peace. But that is a very selfish motive for not properly training your child.

My husband, Rick, was a drill instructor in the Army. Ask him how many of his trainees thought he was easy on them. He was tough enough to know that without proper training, these soldiers could be in real danger in a battle situation. So he let them hate him sometimes. He could take it when they were exhausted or cried when the going got tough. Because he was all they had to instruct them well so they would have the best possible future.

God’s expectation of you as a parent is to TRAIN your child in the things HE expects of them. It’s your #1 job! What you teach them now through example, discipline and consistency is for their FUTURE spiritual assurances. Their eternal existence depends on you being tough enough to not compromise on the things Scripture makes clear. Sin is not good for any of us. Helping them recognize sin in their lives is the most loving thing you can do. The WORLD will accept any sin we want to commit. But we will not live in this world forever. Heaven is the home we all long for. That has never hit home harder than it has as I’ve watched my mom journey there.

Hang in there, parents of young children! You may be getting stink eye every time you walk by them. You may be in that parenting phase that feels like all work and no fun. You must be willing to love them enough to be consistent, strong and courageous in training them. Even if they don’t like you for a while.

Someday they will be sitting by your bed, rubbing your head and reassuring you that you did a good job.