Saints, Stop Apologizing

2/15/2023

Written By: Christina Gregory

I don’t know what surely diagnosable disorder this could be defined by, but I do this really cute thing where I drastically under react to big things and over react to the smallest inconveniences in life. I think it’s part of my charm.

“I’m sorry” is my greatest and most used deflecting tactic in uncomfortable situations. The two times I have been in labor I had nurses tell me to stop apologizing. “I’m sorry” and the whooshing of the fetal monitor were the only sounds that broke up the silence.

As I’ve matured I’ve noticed that “I’m sorry” has become my defense mechanism. I use it to disarm the possible impression that I am anything other than a nice, Christian girl. It smooths over the awkwardness of my self-deprecating humor. And my back is usually strong enough to shoulder blame just to move through conflict more quickly. I know I have a big personality, so a well timed “I’m sorry” makes a strong dose of me easier to swallow. It works for me!

But I’ve developed this new pet peeve that I’ve noticed is like a nervous twitch in the Christian community. And I do it too. In order for us to nip this insecurity, it’s going to take small acts of accountability and vulnerability.

It most commonly looks something like this:

“I’m sorry, I know I ask this every week, but can you please keep my mom in your prayers?”

“I’m sorry, I know you’ve already heard my testimony before, but...”

Every time I hear it said or I say it myself, my heart pangs. I can’t imagine how much it grieves our Father that we feel like our need for Him is burdensome for others.

I want to pray with you. What burdens you, I want to take to the throne on your behalf. I want to pray until hearts or circumstances are changed. Preferably both. Your people…they matter to me. The sins you’re wrestling with…I want my prayers to give you strength in moments of weakness. I am here to give words to your prayers when all you can form are tears.

I want to know your story. I want to see you light up when you walk back through your testimony and see a new way of how God is continuously refining it. I want to rejoice in the evidence of God’s work in your life, over and over again. I need this from y'all too.

Can we make not apologizing for our need of a Savior the new normal?

My challenge for all of us is to start correcting this first in our Small Groups. Nominate a person within your group to keep note of prayer requests. Maybe this role is rotated weekly to lessen the load. Each week update and send out the prayer requests. A shared drive, like Google Sheets, has worked well for our group. For me, it feels like there are some seasons where my prayer request list is never ending. This method keeps prayer requests covered in prayer and current without always having to recount each one every week, when there isn’t always an update. James 5:16b says

“The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

I also want to encourage you to view every prompt from the Spirit to share your testimony within your groups as an opportunity to simply practice saying it out loud! This makes sharing your testimony with someone new so much easier! Victory believes in this practice so much that there is a whole sermon series on our website called #MyVictoryStory where you can learn how to clarify your testimony, giving you the tools you need to have confidence in your story!

1 Chronicles 16:8 says: “Oh give thanks to the Lord, call upon his name; make known his deeds among the peoples!”

My hope for all of us is that our assurance in the power of prayer would abound and our boldness + sense of urgency to share our testimonies would be contagious. And as we work out this insecurity, let’s hold each other gently accountable and remind each other “Saints, stop apologizing.”