New Intentions

2/3/2021

Written By: Christina Gregory

With a full month into 2021 it is estimated that 80% of Americans have already abandoned their New Year Resolutions. Lose weight. Save money. Travel more. Work less. Learn a new hobby. Read the entire Bible. I’ve had each one of these resolutions at one or more seasons of my life. Some of them I achieved. 100% of them I did not stick with 365 days in a row, but would just restart on the next Monday!

In 2018 my New Year Resolution was to truly get to know God. Honestly, it was a desperate attempt to get my mental health under control. If there’s a home remedy out there, I’ve tried it. Supplements, essential oils, diets, exercise, counseling and prescriptions. (This is not to suggest prescriptions are not sometimes necessary for mental health. In God’s great mercy, He gave us modern medicine. No shame!) But it was not working for me. I was surviving but I was not thriving. I had to try something different.

Playing Bible roulette and hoping the scriptures spoke to me wasn’t working. Praying (also known as begging) to God to fix me wasn’t working. Instead of taking scriptures out of context and trying to apply it to my circumstances, I committed to finding God's supremely good character and intention. Instead of praying to the Lord to fix me, I started praying for the Lord to fix my eyes on Him.

That fall we joined a small group. It was during one of our studies that God gave me a fresh view from a miracle I had heard many times before. We don’t know her name, we only know her by her shame. The bleeding woman. For 12 years she bled. While the scriptures don’t share a lot about her fruitless attempts to be healed, I imagine in her desperation she tried it all. Did she cry out to the God she had only overheard others talking about? Did she try rituals and superstitious remedies? She had nothing to lose, she had already lost it all. She had to try something different.

And then one day Jesus shows up in her neighborhood. Mark 5:24 says “A large crowd followed and pressed around Him.” Jesus, His disciples and a whole mob of groupies. Zero social distancing. While others saw a celebrity, she saw her Living Hope. 

“When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him and touched His cloak, because she thought ‘If I just touch His clothes, I will be healed.’ Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering. At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from Him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?” “You see the people crowding against you,” His disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’” But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at His feet and, trembling with fear, told Him the whole truth. He said to her, ‘Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be free from your suffering.’” - Mark 5:27-34

It’s unlikely that no one else in the crowd that had reached out to touch Jesus were without ailment. But they were without hope. They wanted to touch Him for bragging rights. She reached out through faith. Jesus called her out of her shame in front of those that had looked at her with disgust for 12 years, and called her “daughter.” I have learned so much about Christ since changing my intentions with reading The Word. But most importantly, I have learned how to be more Christ-like. The more of my sinful, anxious, fear-filled character that I lay down, the more of His perfect, pure and holy character I take on. In God’s great mercy, it is just not possible to wear His confidence and my anxiety at the same time.

My favorite part about the interaction between Jesus and the bleeding woman is that He asked who touched Him. He knew. He could have healed her without ever acknowledging her. He could have answered her prayers and healed her without ever coming near her. He could have fixed her. But he wanted to be near her because He loved her. 

I fully believe that God could have healed me from my anxiety. He could have fixed me. But instead He fixed my eyes on Him. He wants to be near me because He loves me. The very thing that burdens me is the same thing that brings me to His feet day after day.