Letting Go

9/27/2022

Written By: Nancy Purtlebaugh

I remember the first time both my boys were placed in my arms. That feeling of pure elated joy. And the feeling that in that moment they were fully mine. Without understanding that every moment after that I would be slowly letting them go. 

In that first moment they were laid on my chest and into my arms, they felt like they fully belonged to me. Then in the next moment they were placed in someone else’s arms, and I was giving a little piece of them away.

We recently took my baby boy to college and dropped him off. To stay. When just yesterday I was dropping him off at preschool. He was clinging to me, crying, saying “Mommy, don’t leave me.” I told him, “It will be okay–it’s only for a little while and Mommy will be back”.

When I left him in his dorm room, he hugged me and told US it was okay-he needed to get to his next thing. As we drove away, it was me with tears streaming down my face. All the times before were leading us up to this moment of letting him go.

Leaving him overnight with my mom for the first time as a baby.
Watching him take his first steps.
Seeing him pedal away with no training wheels.
Dropping him off at kindergarten.
Overnights with friends.
A week away from home.
His first job. 
Driving away in his first car… and all the many moments in between. 

I tell my boys all the time, being a mom is tricky business. We are given these children by God, on loan for a little while. We are made to love and nurture them–day in and day out. To teach them, to lead, and guide them. Then our job is ultimately to let them go. Oh mommas, this is hard, isn’t it? How do we do this??

I think it begins with trusting that the One who entrusted them to us knows how to take care of them better than we do. 

I’ll be the first to admit that letting go is not my strong suit, especially when it comes to people. So as I write these words–know this isn’t easy for me. I also know the harder I try to hold on, the harder it is for them to breathe on their own, and the harder it will be for them to find their own way.

It has taken time spent with God in prayer and in His word to understand our most important job as parents is to guide them in their relationship with Him.

“Train a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6

I think about Mary’s example in the Bible. She had to let go too, in so many ways. Yet she fully trusted God. From the moment she found out she was pregnant, she knew she was carrying God’s child. She knew He would be different. When he was a young child she would understand even a little more.

Every year his parents went to Jerusalem for the Feast of the Passover. When He was twelve years old, they went up to the Feast, according to the custom. After the Feast was over, while His parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it. Thinking He was in their company, they traveled on for a day.

Then they began looking for Him among their relatives and friends. When they did not find Him, they went back to Jerusalem to look for Him. After three days they found Him in the temple courts sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. Everyone who heard Him was amazed at His understanding and his answers.

When Jesus’ parents saw Him, they were astonished. His mother said to Him, “Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously looking for you.”

“Why have you been searching for me?” He asked. “Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?”

But they did not understand what he was saying to them.

Then Jesus went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But His mother treasured all these things in her heart. And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.

- Luke 2:41-52

Can you imagine losing your child for that many days and not knowing where they are? And yet I know some, many of you can–for many different reasons. I can only imagine that is a whole different kind of letting go. Please know in this moment I’m praying for you.

From the beginning, Mary was letting go of Jesus. Yet just like us and our children–He was never fully hers. He was on loan from God to her for a little while. Yet Mary treasured all these things in her heart. Because I think, even though it was unimaginably hard, she knew and trusted God’s plan for her child was better.

So maybe, just maybe, today I can trust God’s plan is better for my child than I could imagine. I am going to treasure these things up in my heart as well–the letting go of my children–back into the arms of God, where they fully belong.