Several years ago, in lieu of making a resolution, I started adopting a word that I wanted to work on. Last year my word was Present. It had a double meaning - be in the moment no matter where I was or who I was with, be a gift or a present to those around me. Did I do a good job? I’m not sure—I think so, but I also know I failed miserably at times.

That doesn’t deter me from continuing the tradition in coming up with a word each year. It helps give me direction and a goal to focus on. This year’s is a little different, but it’s the thing I keep coming back to. “Let Go.”

I know, it’s two words (it’s really okay type A people, a phrase counts too). I’ve been praying about direction for weeks on what word God would have me focus on, and NOTHING was coming to me. It took a time of isolation to get me to those two little words. Let Go.

Of what, you might ask? Maybe everything—except God. There are so many things I like to hold onto. If I’m being honest, there are so many things I want to keep, to hold close to my heart. In many ways, I don’t like change. I want to hold on to the way things were. And yet, I know in my heart of hearts this is not who God calls me to be.

Oftentimes when we want to achieve a goal, we go into it not really wanting change. We want things to remain the same, with a new outcome. We, as humans are set in our ways. We want to lose weight while sitting in our recliner. We want to become healthier while reaching for the same unhealthy foods we have always eaten. We want to break free from that addiction while still going to the same places that feed the addiction. We want to save our marriage while sitting across from our spouse, yet never having an actual conversation.

We want a change without ever actually letting go of the thing that is holding us back—whatever that may be.

God has been doing a work in my life for years on letting go of control. I don’t really have it anyway. But in my flesh, I try to hold onto it. For a portion of my life, I thought life would be good if I looked a certain way—if I kept my weight below a certain number. I would go to great lengths to keep that magic number on the scale. I would count calories and work out obsessively. And when the number didn’t match what I wanted it to—I would skip a meal here or there. Until guess what? I no longer had control, this obsession had control over me.

I had to go through many things to get my life back to normal. Ultimately, I had to let go of what I thought could give me control, of the way I thought life should be. I had to lay it down and hand it over to God. I couldn’t look back and dwell on the former things to make the change I needed to become healthy again. Believe me, it wasn’t easy, but the important things in life never are.

I knew as I let go of the behaviors that were unhealthy, I had to replace them with something new. Something beneficial. The very best thing to fill the “control” void, was God. He is the only One who can fill us. As we give Him control over our lives, He will guide us into places He wants us to go, through prayer and reading His word. He is a trustworthy God who wants something better for us than the things we leave behind. I can promise you this—life won’t ever be perfect this side of heaven—but as we let go and allow Him to lead, He will always be by our side.