Heavenly Birthdays

4/26/2023

Written by: Nancy Purtlebaugh

How do you celebrate the birthday of a loved one who is no longer with you on earth? How do you get through the day of the 70th birthday of your mom, when she will forever remain 56? 14 of her birthdays without her here, and I miss her every day.

I usually take to social media to do my yearly tribute to my Momma, but this year you get the pleasure to read about her.

My mom had a personality that was larger than life. She was loud, definitely not a quiet mom. Her laugh could fill an entire room and cause many heads to turn and stare at her in public places. She was a yeller, but could be gentle when we needed it. She gave the best hugs and loved well.

She had many kids who called her mom, that she didn’t give birth to. But man oh man, she had a temper. You did not want to poke the bear.

She loved Jesus and made sure we were at church whenever the doors were open. She had a love of music, all different kinds. That is probably where I got my love of music too. I’ll never forget hearing her sing Old Rugged Cross or How Great Thou Art in our little country church.

She loved her family fiercely and was the best Mamaw.

My mom had a rough childhood growing up. I won’t go into that - that’s a different story for a different day. She wasn’t a perfect mom, but she sure did try. I didn’t always see that or appreciate that growing up. That laugh would embarrass me to no end when I was a teenager.

I remember fighting with her a lot as I was growing up. We didn’t often see eye to eye. I think because of that, I was always looking for other moms to fill a void I thought I had. I was looking for a mom that lived up to the expectations of the mom I thought I wanted. When mine was right there in front of me. She often just wanted a little bit of time with me. And I was too busy looking for something else, something I thought would be better. I wasted time that was precious.

As her birthday approached on April 24th, I tried to remember how I celebrated her last birthday in 2009. Unfortunately, I don’t remember. I hope she felt loved and appreciated. It was just a normal birthday, so I’m not sure we did anything too exciting. If only I had known it was her last one, I would have celebrated her better.

Most of us don’t know when our loved ones' last birthdays are. So, can I implore you to celebrate your loved ones each day? I know it’s not always easy. We get busy, life gets in the way. Can I ask you, as I miss my momma, to call your loved ones today–in honor of her? Even if you are mad at them, even if they said the wrong thing, even if they embarrass you (you probably embarrass them too). Even if they don’t check all the boxes of a perfect person, because really, who does?

Because I promise you this, you are going to miss them. You will even miss the things that drive you crazy! I would give anything to walk into a room and hear that laugh again. I would laugh right along with her. If you are missing a loved one on their birthday this year, can I suggest you call someone who reminds you of them, or maybe call someone who might be missing them as well?

The last several years of my mom’s life were not easy. She was often in pain and struggled to walk. Yet, she found ways to bless others in that pain. She would buy little gifts for people, call and encourage them, she would pray for people. She reminded others all the time to pray for our troops overseas.

Thankfully as I grew older and had kids of my own, I gained a new appreciation for my mom. She still drove me nuts some days, but she was an example for us all.

She lived out the verse, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up” – 1 Thessalonians 5:11.

My original question at the beginning was, “How do you celebrate the birthday of a loved one who is no longer with you?”

I plan to celebrate her by hugging those I love a little longer, because she gave the best 5 minute hugs. I plan to show love to everyone I come into contact with, so I am loving like her.

I will eat something sweet in honor of her–she always wanted us to “bring Mommy something sweet.”

My Momma’s favorite verse was Psalm 118:24 “This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.”

So today, I will rejoice. I will be glad because God gave me this day. And I will remember that God gave me the best Mom for me-one who made the choice in a dark world, to bring me up to know the One who will give me the opportunity to see her again.