Healing After the Pain

10/27/2021

Written by: April Mills

When I was a young Christian, I often heard it said: “They have been hurt by the church.” It was stated as an explanation to someone who seemed to have a chip on their shoulder when it came to church and all that church life entails. I was too young in my faith to understand it at the time, because after all, how could the church hurt someone?

It wasn’t until years later I truly understood that statement and the significance it carried. I experienced heartbreak in the church, not once, but on several occasions. I became jaded and quickly became a champion in carrying a mountain size chip on my shoulder. I became distrusting of people and their motives and wrestled with feelings of abandonment by church people. My joy and love for church was gone, and in its stead, skepticism and a critical spirit. I struggled to understand why these church people acted the way they did, when after all, weren’t they supposed to know better?

The offense or injury can come in so many forms. Maybe you were the victim of gossip or judgment. Perhaps you were mistreated by leadership or witnessed an act from leadership that left you feeling hurt or confused. Maybe you felt rejected by the church and found it hard to “fit in.” When the church injures our heart, it also injures our faith. We stop progressing at the moment of the injury.

The truth is, I fixed my eyes on the wrong person, or people. I set my faith in people, and while that isn’t necessarily wrong, I failed to set my eyes on the One who never hurts or wounds. I failed to fix my eyes on Jesus, the one who always has my best interest at heart and always desires relationship.

The church is full of people, broken and flawed people. And broken people make mistakes and act out of that brokenness. We must be in pursuit of forgiveness (Matthew 18:22) of those who have caused us pain. If we don’t, there will always be a piece of our heart we keep from the church. We will always hold back a little part of ourselves from others. We will always wait for something to happen, and never relax.

We must find a way, through the grace and mercy of Christ (Ephesians 4:32), to forgive. Otherwise, we stay stuck and become stagnant in this journey of faith. Wounds left untreated will begin to fester and will leech out and infect other parts of our lives. We must be diligent in addressing the hurt, and work toward healing and restoration.

If you haven’t been hurt by the church, you may think this message is not for you. But the truth is friends, we are surrounded by people carrying church wounds. Every Sunday, every group gathering, and at every event we are bound to come across someone that has suffered brokenness at the hands of the church. We have the ability to help heal those wounds, and to be the loving and kind hand of Christ. Church is a place to be built up, not broken and torn down. By being sensitive to the Holy Spirit, and pursuing the heart of God, we can help restore a broken heart back to Christ. What a beautiful gift!

Prayer for the week: Heavenly Father, I pray you help me lay down my hurt that others have caused me. Help me embrace the true forgiveness of Christ, so I may forgive others. Heal my heart, O’Lord, and make it whole again in the way that only You can. Help me to fix my eyes on Christ, who will never hurt nor harm me, and help me to remember your thoughts toward me are good. Through the power of your Holy Spirit, grant me strength and courage to take steps to draw closer to the church this week. Use me as a vehicle to help bring peace and healing to those who are hurt. Help me take these steps in faith, to honor Your Son and His sacrifice. In Jesus Name, Amen.