Expectations
9/21/2022
Written By: Margie Davis
I love watching sports on TV. Particularly Colts football! I was so excited for that first regular season game!!! I had chili in the crockpot before church. It was a cool, rainy day, perfect for watching lots of football! My expectations were high!
It was a disappointing game to say the least. We had a chance to get the win even after 3 less than stellar quarters of football. If you are a Colts fan, you know that the game ended in a tie in overtime because our kicker missed a field goal that had an expected 80% chance of success. Was he solely responsible for losing the game? Absolutely not! But if you calculate his ability, plus the money he makes to excel at his position, there was a high expectation for him to make that field goal!
My sweet friend Nancy Purtlebaugh and I were texting after the game, and she was talking about praying for him and how bad she felt for him. I must admit that I did not have the same loving thoughts!
This gave me pause to think more deeply about expectations. We all have them, don’t we? When they aren’t met, we can feel frustration, disappointment, anger or sadness. Unmet expectations almost never bring about a positive feeling at the time. And when we are attaching those expectations to a PERSON, the negative feelings begin to grow towards them and not just the situation! This happens in most marriages frequently!
Before Rick and I got married, he asked me to list my top expectations of our marriage. We had enjoyed 3 amazing years of dating and maintaining separate households. He was wise enough to know that compromises would and should be made to accommodate each other after years of singleness.
He expected that I would continue to work and contribute financially. I would care for the household duties, and he would take care of the yard and bill paying. I expected that he would be home for the dinner that I would prepare each evening, but that Friday would be my “night off” and he would plan our evening meal. We completely agreed that he was to always be our spiritual leader and I was to always continue to keep growing toward holiness! It was good to establish these things going into our marriage so that neither of us were blindsided later. These are very valid expectations to have in a biblical marriage.
But what about our EMOTIONAL expectations? Should I expect my husband, children, parents or friends to meet all my emotional needs? I think we understand that is logically impossible and yet we can all think of times when we have put that burden on someone we care about.
What if the person you get most frustrated with when it comes to expectations is yourself? Do you have a “performance=acceptance” mindset? Isn’t it a good thing to always want to do our best?
Colossians 3:23 says “whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.”
HOWEVER, when we begin to work at something with all our heart in order to please anyone besides God, we can easily slip into pride. The spotlight swivels around from God to us.
Galatians 1:10 says “Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
How do we prevent falling into the “approval of men” game? I believe that daily self-evaluation is necessary.
We have a very clear “meter” to use to determine if we’re trying to meet the expectations of anyone (self-included) besides God. When we have a choice to make about our words, deeds or actions, we simply ask ourselves “Will this bring honor to God?” Once we begin to do this, we will find the peace that comes from sitting at only HIS feet and not at the feet of the world and its expectations!
Do you find yourself saying critical things about someone simply because they haven’t met your expectations? Do you beat yourself up because you don’t meet your own expectations?
Today, let someone off the hook. People will let us down. We will let them down. Only God can truly meet your expectations.